Yeah, it was my mother who blew off my birthday.

Does that change anything?

And the person she trashed me to was one of my kids.

I called her house last night to speak to my grandma, but didn’t bring up the birthday issue cuz I was waiting to see what you guys would say. We ended up talking for about an hour about this and that, and she of course acted like everything was fine.

I’m the firstborn, and she isn’t senile, so it’s not like this is something that would have just slipped her mind.

I want this not to be something that is painful for me, but it obviously is, which is why I’m writing about it on the blog.

Her phone hasn’t been broken, she has sent texts to my kids, and she mailed a card to one of them a few days ago, so it’s not like she didn’t have stamps or couldn’t get to the post office. I keep trying to find a way to make this something palatable, but the truth is that it’s just ugly and mean.

When do we get old enough to not care what our parents think or do?

Sigh.

I want to be the person who glories in the fact that people I never met on my blog care enough to wish me a happy birthday, that my husband and kids are around and they are who matter, and that I have friends who would be there for me in a nano-second if I needed them. But instead I feel like a failure that I am letting myself be dragged down by someone who obviously has issues of her own that she would be so cruel and passive-aggressive (no, the birthday thing was not an isolated incident, but this has been the most recent and flagrant).

So now that you have more info, would you change your answer? Would you give me more or different advice? And please someone tell me how I can stop feeling so broken just because I am attached to a broken situation.

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