Remember a dozen or so posts back when I said maybe I should check in with you guys before I made any major decisions? Well here is your chance to weigh in on a rather big one.
My birthday recently passed and someone who should be very central to my life failed to acknowledge it in any way. I am not usually one to stand on ceremony about this type of thing; I don’t do Mother’s Day (except to call my own mother and grandmother) and birthdays in our house mean that the luckily-born person gets to choose what we eat for supper that night. We don’t go in for a lot of hoopla and I’m not a mushy-gushy sentimental type. Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend was not my friend, and people who think you need a tchotchke to commemorate every occasion have no idea how much more I value clear space over clutter. So in general I could do without sentiment when it comes to Hallmark holidays.
But you know how everyone has that certain inner-circle of people who knows your special days and your important milestones and is supposed to at least check in from time to time to let you know you are thought about? So this was one of those people and this person let my birthday pass without a phone call, email, text, card, or acknowledgment of any sort. Officially there is nothing wrong in this relationship, although this person’s actions would say otherwise to me. So here is my question:
Is it worth me calling to ask what happened? Is it better to just make an excuse (which I will know in my heart isn’t true, so it won’t honestly give me peace) and let the other person save face and continue to bear whatever grudge they have and act like everything is fine on the surface and just know that this person obviously wants to passive-aggressively get back at me for something? It isn’t viable to say they forgot, since other people in the same circle didn’t forget, and would have mentioned it. Also, in the interest of full disclosure, this person said something really nasty about me to a third party a few weeks back, but whenever I have asked if there is anything we need to talk about to clear the air, this person totally acts like I’m crazy to even ask.
So my question that I would very much like you to help me sort out is, do I confront or cut my losses?
What are the pros and cons as far as you can see in terms of calling or not calling? The times I sometimes make the worst decisions are the times I am closest to the fire, so this is prime blow-up territory… So, in the interest of having my back, what do you think?