no, this isn’t an ad for

i’ve been talking over the last few days with the producer of a TV show. if you know me in real life and you knew which TV show you ‘d have a long and lusty laugh. in fact, i joked to a friend that if i made a list of the top ten shows i’d probably never be on, this just might make the list. the producer is super sweet, and she’s been very persuasive and accommodating;  at the end of the day, though, i just don’t feel like the show is a great fit for me as a person.

but of course there’s a catch. because if you’re on the show they give you a fairly generous check.

just for being on.

it’s not like some big competition where you have to eat eyeballs or scheme to beat other desperate people to collect the cash. they pay you just for showing up.

which raised the question in my house: how much money would it take to get you to do something you wouldn’t do otherwise?

normally i’m a pretty black and white person. if i would do something, i’d do it for free. and if i wouldn’t do it then paying me won’t incentivize me to do it.

early in our marriage we had some friends who were struggling with infertility. the topic of surrogacy came up. and if i had good health and easier pregnancies i would have done it in a heartbeat. how much were they paying? that never entered into it. i felt like it was the right thing to do and if i could have done it for them i would have. simple and straightforward.

but i know for most people the waters are muddier.

something that’s iffy for $1,000 looks like a mighty good opportunity for $100,000. heck, we moved our family halfway across the country for the right price, didn’t we?

and if i’m entirely honest, i’ll admit that i state these lofty principles from a position of comfort. we have a roof over our heads and my kids have enough food. i don’t know if i’d be quite so holier-than-thou if that show’s paycheck meant keeping my family out of a homeless shelter.

this is something i’ve always tried to be very aware of. when we were in the thick of the garden controversy there were some people who suggested i run for public office. but, being human and all, i know that i have a price too. i may not be aware of exactly what it is, but of course it’s there. and i never want to be in a position where i have to come face to face with it. i think we all hope we’d be up to the test- but life’s so hard already, why go looking to make it harder, right?

i thought it might be fun to make a list of the TV shows i would like to be on (after all, you never know who reads this blog!)- but i couldn’t think of any. i know kate gosselin (from jon and kate plus 8) said she wanted to be on dancing with the stars. although i never saw it, i heard it didn’t turn out so well for her. i think sometimes when you run after fame, it runs in the other direction.

really, though, i’d love to be part of something one day that makes a difference. i’d love to help educate people. i’d love to show people that they can do so many things that they think are beyond their reach. i’d love to help make the aspirational accessible.

and much to the chagrin of my family, i’d even do it for free 😉