everyone knows that he’s got high hopes, right? but i wish the song gave us more of a concrete answer.

even the first line kind of hints that it’s not really normal for the ant to have that kind of expectation.

it’s almost taking umbrage at the idea that an ant would even dream to get so far beyond his station in life. like how dare he think he could move that rubber tree plant?

we realize that it’s beyond the norm for a measly little ant to expect something that is so clearly beyond his capabilities.

so why do some people dare to dream while others get stuck in the black holes of life?

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i heard today about a woman who had breast cancer.

a teeny tiny lump was found during a check- up.

during a routine scan before the surgery to remove that itty bitty lump they saw that the cancer was actually much more widespread and she went from having a small amount of tissue excised to having her entire breast removed.

what they saw during surgery made them recommend a short course of chemotherapy to follow-up.

of course the chemo smashed her flat; this is bound to happen when your body is bombarded by poison.

what everyone expected was that this poor woman would be sick sick sick.

what nobody expected was that this poor woman became depressed depressed depressed.

one shock after another just completely exhausted her mental ability to cope and to bounce back from each successive trauma until she was just beyond her capacity.

and she collapsed.

it literally took her the better part of a year being hospitalized to be able to regroup before she was able to lead a functional life again.

and she is just now slowly being able to put the pieces back together.

man oh man.

wouldn’t it be nice if someone could tell us the secret of what makes some people able to pick themselves up and dust themselves off and just keep on keepin on?

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i’ve been reading over old blog posts, and  i must confess that i’m really enjoying it. with the passage of time and some measure of emotional distance i can look back with a certain level of fondness at the whole garden experience. i’m seeing things from a fresh perspective. i read some of the entries and i’m calling *h over like, ” you have to hear this!” almost forgetting that i wrote it… but i’m also kind of marvelling at the fact that i made it through the ordeal with my sanity intact.

you may remember from a few posts ago that karl in missouri is going through a very similar fight over a very similar garden in his front yard right now. ( http://vegetableyarden.wordpress.com/)  i put a comment on his blog and sent him an email, but i was searching for the right words to say to him that would help him to weather the storm he is in the middle of ( a storm i should officially be an expert at navigating!)- and i couldn’t nail it down. i couldn’t figure out the right thing to say to someone who is stressed out in a fight with his city over a front yard garden. go figure.

i tried to remember if there was anything specific that anyone said to me that especially helped, but i think it was just the idea of people being there. i think it was just the outpouring of love and support. so i tried to pour some love and support karl’s way.

and i think maybe at the end of the day, that’s what tips the scales for any of us. what makes the difference between getting sucked into black holes and living to smile another day is feeling like someone out there loves us and will offer to give us support when we need it.

and even if they don’t know quite the right way to do it, or quite the right words to say, and even if their gestures don’t quite hit the mark, i think offerings from the heart penetrate the heart.

and that’s what i really wanted to say.