yesterday was my oldest daughter’s birthday.

she was the easiest of all my births. her labor was the gentlest, the delivery was the smoothest, and she was by far (sorry other kids) the prettiest baby. she has a mohawk of beautiful blond curls that grew into the most gorgeous blond ringlets that still today stop people and have them comment on what great hair she has. she had big round blue/green eyes, which i guess should have been a preview for her wide-open curious view of the world that makes her who she is today.

last year her birthday was a joint celebration- her 16th birthday and her graduation from high school. we planned a really nice but intimate party and she spent the day with her friends at a local art studio painting pottery. the rest of the kids spent the day decorating the house and it was shaping up to be a really nice super special day.

but then i had a stroke and had to go to the hospital.

so, that put a damper on the festivities a bit.

i left instructions that *h was to go home to the kids and be with them- that he was absolutely NOT to come to the hospital. since he couldn’t do anything there anyway, i knew he’d be better off at home providing some sense of normalcy for the kids.

but he came to the hospital anyway.

lots of drama later, i was safely home in bed, promising my daughter that i would make it up to her. how awful that i ruined her big day and how terrible that this would be her memory. well, it wasn’t like i chose it…

fast forward to yesterday, which should have been a normal regular day. my daughter’s birthday again.

and i had a migraine that would stop an elephant. you know they say a ‘warning sign’ of impending doom is getting ‘the worst headache you’ve ever had’? well, this was a real doozy. this wasn’t a, “hello. you have another migraine today. this day’s gonna be tough.”

this was, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE’S SOMETHING GOING WRONG IN YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIX IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

followed by some projectile vomiting that belonged in an exorcist movie- with food that i swear i digested several days ago…

and then off to bed to try to reason out what the heck was happening to me.

meanwhile, the mental checklist:

oldest daughter remembering how i ruined her birthday last year too: check.

middle daughter trying to be florence nightengale and play nurse to me and make supper and deal with all the younger kids so they don’t get scared: check.

next son: doing a hundred good things (bargaining with God- i’ll be good if you don’t kill my mom): check.

youngest son: mostly trying to be oblivious so he doesn’t have to be afraid: check.

youngest daughter: very afraid and clingy to middle daughter, who is already pretty much at the end of her rope: check.

*h: trying to figure out from random text messages at work what is really going on and then coming home and handling stuff cuz i was mostly just passed out by then: check.

so, was it cellular memory and my body just thought that it was supposed to reprocess last year’s trauma on this day? that’s a bit too groovy for my liking, but i dunno. it was kind of weird and random.

here’s what i do know: the kids are fine, and they managed to have a nice birthday dinner. the chickens are great, and they are thoroughly enjoying the leftover salad and some gross vegan sushi this morning. i am up and around and getting back on top of the laundry and whatnot.

petunia grant continues to be our champion egg layer, averaging one egg a day, while the others haven’t seemed to have read the memo that this is their job too.

i have a big costco outing planned with *h some time this week, which always puts me in a cheery mood.

and that’s about all the news that fits.