some of my lady friends are defying conventional wisdom in the way they eat. they pack in as many carbs as they can find, and shun more traditional “healthy” foods.

they will shovel in mouthful after mouthful of potatoes- cooked any way, doesn’t seem to matter- and eat loads of bread, crackers, and rolls. they love all cookies, and while they will eat token amounts of protein (mostly in the form of sour cream with their potatoes) they are not so into a colorful diet.

foods that my family considers real treats- grapes, cherries, and berries, for example- are just wasted on these girls. they would rather gorge on rice and oatmeal than have an apple or a banana.

the odd cucumber might make its way into their meal plan, but lettuce will not be tolerated, nor will any other leafy greens or tomatoes (who doesn’t like tomatoes???), nor peas/beans/broccoli.

yet, they stay slim and healthy. they have lots of energy, and they seem none the worse for wear. this high-carb diet that would put me into a restful coma seems to set them into a joyous frenzy of happiness.

you know i’m talking about our chickens, right?

we were told they like green leafies- so i bought them a deluxe assortment the other day. chux hated them. but they LOVED the stale peanut butter cookies we gave them. i gave them some fruit to sweeten up their mostly beige diet, and they acted like i was trying to poison them. but they devoured some old rice from the back of the fridge.

these girls are wacky but fun and amazing. they are growing every day and learning funny new chicken tricks. sometimes i will get out of bed at night and just look out the window at them (yes, a few of them don’t go to bed when it gets dark- contrary to yet another of our chicken expectations…). we were worried that we might have gotten in over our heads with this whole chicken thing. but so far we are loving the journey.

this morning, in spite of there being (gasp here, please, for dramatic effect!) SNOW on the ground- i went out to attach a fine mesh type of chicken wire around the coop. we’ve had a mommy rat (i’m assuming it’s the mommy who does the grocery shopping, although i must admit to not being close enough to see the determining rat apparatus to be able to tell if it really was the mommy or the daddy…) coming in and out of the coop and very helpfully carrying away most of the leftovers from the chickens’ meals. (although it didn’t take the core from the cabbage i put out there. slacker.) i’m trying to be all philosophical farmer about it- chickens are barnyard creatures, they are used to rats, they don’t care, blah blah blah- but inside i’m really more like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- there’s a ^%$*^%$#*%$(&%(^$^$(%(             RAT IN THE CHICKEN COOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

so, i managed to get the wire all tacked over one side (the one that borders the pile of old roofing materials in my neighbor’s yard where the rat family lives) before i decided i was way too cold and i needed to come in and take a hot bath. not overly manly of me, i know-but i think i was darn tough, all things considered. and i wore my steel-toed muck boots, so i think that added some serious gravitas to the endeavor… and even though i used bag ties to secure the mesh (i can’t say with confidence that we actually own wire cutters, but i can say with confidence that i knew that if i looked for wire and wire cutters i would have ended up reorganizing the tool boxes instead of putting up chicken wire to protect the chux…)- i think it was definitely an adequate job.

oh, and i fixed the garbage disposal last night.

yes, i’m bragging.

don’t hate me cuz i’m fabulous.