first of all, i have to say what good timing it is that i told my grandma last night. today, it seems we made yahoo news and the detroit news once again. my grandma does not have internet, nor does she have a computer. but my grandma is one of those spunky types, who will casually work into a conversation things like, “oh, the internet? well there was a class at the community center to teach us about internet. grandpa had an old tv in the basement, so i went downstairs last night and rewired it to become a computer and then i hacked into some website- i think it was the CIA?- and then i read your blog. what were you saying about the internet?”

in other words, not too much gets past her.

in other news, i am spending lots of fulfilling nights with jon, kate, and their eight adorable kids. one of my sisters used to watch this show religiously, and she always recommended it for me to watch. happily, we have never had cable. happily we now have netflix. so, me and the gosselin 10 have been getting pretty cozy late at night after everyone else has gone to sleep. i like to watch episodes one right after the other, and since netflix currently has about 85 episodes, i am as happy as a pig in mud.

it’s kind of creepy to know that they end up divorced, though. it’s so weird to watch someone life in reverse- where i know their future but they don’t. the beginning of every episode starts with jon saying something like, ‘it’s a crazy life, but it’s theirs together’. and then you know that down the road he divorces his wife and gets a series of scummy girlfriends. it’s like watching a train wreck when you know it is coming, but the engineers don’t. in some ways, i feel vaguely dirty to be a party to it.

but in some ways, it’s kind of addictive.

i love how kate is so matter-of-fact in how she relates to everyone and everything. i hate how kate can be so bossy with jon (and i hate it more because i do the same thing with star husband sometimes). i love how jon is so in love with his kids. i hate that i know jon is going to turn out to betray them.

i know there are two sides to every story. i have no idea how it comes about that they get divorced. but i am sad and disappointed in him from the get-go.

call me judgemental.

you wouldn’t be so wrong.

but it’s a nice break from packing and shopping and doctors and paperwork. and they are up at night when everyone else is asleep.

i kind of wish i could see our lives in reverse. where will we end up, and what are the pitfalls i need to avoid? it would be so much easier to know in advance what you can usually know in hindsight. it would give so much peace of mind to know something for certain.

but we can’t know for certain, and that’s half the fun, isn’t it?