well, i took the plunge and did the deed.
i went to my grandma’s house and told her we are going to be relocating.
she took it extremely well, all things considered. then we sat and chatted about everything and nothing- a rare luxury, since i am usually rushing to do something or other.
do you ever notice how you feel guiltiest when the other person isn’t trying to make you feel guilty at all? in the course of a multi-hour conversation: she is kind of inured against the power of bad news since most of her friends are dead (ugh). she already lost her husband and one of her children- said matter-of-factly (ugh). the west coast is really really far away. why would we want to go there? (ugh). her sister, who is in her upper 90s, isn’t doing too well (ugh). she continues to have pain and health problems- actually said at two separate times (ugh) (and ugh). my oldest son doesn’t visit her enough (translation: why is my son like me, in that neither of us visits her enough) (ugh x2).
there were probably other highlights, but i can’t remember them right now, since my entire family is having a late dinner about 3 feet away from me, and i can’t concentrate so well…
but, we have done probably the most emotionally difficult thing about this move. we have disappointed my grandma.
on the upside, i got slurpees for everyone tonight, so everyone thinks i am the best mom in the world.
when one door closes another door opens. or when god closes a door he opens a window. or one day at a time.
or some other bumper-sticker-worthy saying.
i feel like my life is turning into a series of one-liners and things you would find on a refrigerator magnet.
maybe one day, i will be original again.
maybe in seattle i will plant a lawn and dump chemicals all over it. that would be different. or i will become a macrobiotic vegan pagan left-wing buddhist.