thank you, idahomesteader for this awesome idea!

We have a new addition to the Oak Park, Michigan’s Most Wanted List

Jule Bass – The Garden Bandit
AKA
The Foraging Felon
The Raised Bed Brigand
The Crooknecked Crook
The Village Pillager
The Tundra Plunderer
The Hothouse Hooligan
The Gardening Gangster
The Lawn (Ar)Ranger
The Mulching Marauder

She may go by other aliases, we are only now beginning to build our files to learn if she is part of a larger anti-yardist terrorist cell that may be operating in Oak Park.

Citizens of Michigan beware: Julie Bass – the suitably seditious saboteur – may be coming to a community near you to sow the seeds of revolution and inoculate the minds of your children with ideas like reliance, organic food, fresh vegetables, and front yard autonomy. If you see her walking through your neighborhood with dimensional lumber and boxes of compost, call the nearest code enforcement officer or duly licensed city planner.

This type of activity can only lead to reduced tax receipts as more and more people discover that for a few pennies worth of seeds they can grow dollars worth of food that is fresh and e coli free. If these self-reliant rabble rousers gain a root-hold in your community, they will not be speeding to local chain stores, congesting the roads, buying low quality (but high priced) food of unknown origin and dubious nutritional value and paying sales tax for the privilege.

Worse yet, if people are allowed to garden in their front yards, they may actually start talking with each other, sharing information and recipes, swapping extra zucchinis and cucumbers and tomatoes. Imagine the horror of groups of people who live on the same street in your community who know each other and actually know what others are eating!! Where will the madness end?

Forget Square Foot Gardening.

The old adage is true: If you give them an Inch, they’ll take a yard. Don’t let your yard be next.

NEW ADDITION:

The Composting Conspirator
The Trellising Traitor
The Peppery Perpetrator
The Licentious Locavore
The Ace of Spades
The Dis-egg-reable Dissenter (think chickens in the backyard…)
The Abominable Agronomist
The Villainous Vermiculturist