i just had the most amazing great wonderful time gardening with about 20 kids from the neighborhood! they were so genuinely interested in learning about the different types of plants and the weeds and the compost (acquired from a super-secret location- like the bat cave, or the chamber of secrets, or wherever one keeps things they don’t want the city to ticket them for- shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh). they each watered and consulted on where to plant various flowers (yes, we caved in- but you’re missing the point!), they pushed the wheelbarrow around and got wet and dirty (apologies to their parents), and asked a ton of questions and talked about different vegetables they knew about, and asked if they could make us a scarecrow. i told them that might not be necessary, since we don’t get many crows around here, but they could make me a scaresquirrel if they wanted to. we all had a blast, and i got so much dirt under my nails i looked like an auto mechanic. (in a good way!)
i thought about keeping my hands filthy for court, but thought that might be construed as a bad metaphor, so i ditched it. (hah! ditched it- i just made a gardening pun!) among other court-inspired ideas i decided against:
getting a pair of denim overalls from a thrift store and swaggering in like a real farmer.
buying matching straw hats for my whole family and perhaps attaching fake flowers to the side. perhaps leaving a price tag dangling a la minnie pearl (i think that’s who it was…)
bringing long strands of grass to chew on while i wait for my turn. of course, i would bring enough to share; who can resist a long hunk of lawn in their mouth?
carrying a fiddle, or other stereotypical country entertainment. perhaps a pie eating contest in the lobby? certainly i would hand out ribbons for participants…
dragging in a big old wicker rocking chair, and sitting in the back of the courtroom saying things like, “aw, shucks!” and “gal dangit!” maybe a corncob pipe, too?
anyway, i am clearly not finding suitable court-side entertainments, so i came in and took a long shower.
by the way- why is it that showers feel soooooooooooooo good when you are really filthy? it’s like the water and soap can tell- ‘oh, she’s just a bit grimy’ or ‘wow- she is a mud-caked disaster!’ so i had this great shower and then put on tons of great smelling lotion (no, i will not tell you what kind. a gardener needs some secrets, after all. suffice it to say that the next time you are walking somewhere and you pass someone and just think- ‘darn, she smells GREAT!’ that person is probably me.)
so, now i am all clean and fresh and pre-trial edgy, and i have tons of stuff to do in the house- which is kind of great since i don’t anticipate getting too much sleep tonight- and i am in limbo. just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiting. if i knew a way to stretch those letters out in a different font, i totally would have…
so, we are T-16ish hours (math is not my strongest point).
oh, and what is the T- part? time minus? who started that nonsense? maybe i will middle-of-the-night research that… maybe i will read one of the 75 books on revolutionary food movements that i just got from the lovely and accommodating berkley library.
maybe i will go throw in a load of laundry and come back and find a million comments on my blog and i can take an obscene amount of time to answer each one.
c’mon, people- throw me a bone!